Even though I had a wonderful time celebrating Pierre's birthday with the Toastmasters just now, I wish that I had someone to really talk to now?
It felt as if I was the biggest sinner in the whole world after reading the news feed on Facebook. Its akin pushing someone down into a pithole, especially when the person is someone whom you had something for.
I admit that my head was ruling me all the while during the meeting with Mr Keith Wong that day and I didnt really care much about other factors except for the black and white status. As a member of the organising committee, I had to be fair to the rest of the contestants. Thinking back, I really wonder, why was it that the first thing that came out of my mouth that day when I heard the news was to disqualify you without hesitating.
Have I reached a stage where my mind think so straight where I dont even give a damn what others are feeling or thinking but just to go by book? Maybe this is something I should expect from the character of mine? It seemed that the control over the other side of me is going out soon and I have started to use it unknowingly to a point where I only know it when I am at rest. Even now, the rest are shocked that I am actually doing this to you.
I find that I might not even have the courage to speak to you next time because of this reason.
In fact, a lot of things are on rebound which I think I have decided to just put them aside because of the most hectic life I have now. I wonder how much of the mess will I be able to clear up next time when I am free.
The moon is shining brightly now but it seemed that I am walking down one of the darkest path that I have never imagine myself taking it. I dont see the stars shining...
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